Monday, May 30, 2005

This Space

I question my reasons for writing an online journal that is visible to the world.

What side of myself do I hope to present?

I don't know that an internet journal is anything other than a way to show off the things that you want the world to see, while continuing to hide, at an even deeper level, those parts of your life that need the most work. This is a unique place where it is easy to pretend that we're sharing our true selves, and possibly our hearts and souls, with the world while sitting completely protected in solitude behind our computer screens.

I'm used to being completely honest when keeping a journal for myself... and I know that I'm not willing to display that kind of raw honesty in a public forum. So I'm not sure what the real reasons for continuing to write in this space would be. I guess I don't want the reason that I write to be that people who I know will read and will form certain opinions around who I am based on what I write. I don't want what I write to be affected by the knowledge that what I'm writing is being read.

Can I possibly avoid writing for my audience while being honest, but not TOO honest? Is that fair? Is that worth my time?

I don't think so.